day 24

Super uncomfy today... my back and hips hurt. I think I slept all weird last night. I'm hoping to feel better soon, maybe some yoga this afternoon will help with the joint pains.

Mr. Patsey

I just had to write a little about how much I LOVE my husband!!! Seriously... I can't get enough of that guy. He's always calm when I'm going crazy, funny when I'm sad and we always have fun... even if we're just hanging out at home. I was having a particularly emotional day on Monday and he was supposed to leave for Utah for work. He kept asking when I left to take Laney to school and I was wondering why. Well, he showed up to surprise us! I felt bad cause I was so upset, but he just hugged me while I cried and made me feel a million times better. He's just the greatest!

day 23

I have had one rough week... I wanted to not think about the possibility of being pregnant and boy have I been reminded that I'm not (that I know of). People who I thought would be there for me during everything... ups and downs just are sweeping me under the rug. I mean, I don't need to be doted on, but a little understanding would be nice. I've put myself and my struggles aside for so many friends and family who are pregnant or were pregnant over the last 2 years... attending baby showers, going to see babies when they're born, and even throwing showers/sprinkles. To be told I'm bitter and angry makes me just want to walk away. I don't expect people to fully understand or take pity on me... just a listening ear would be great.

On a more positive note, I am hoping to test on Monday... I am exhausted today, I'm not sure if it's from all the crying I did yesterday or something else?? ;] I'm also trying to get my rear to the gym more often and eat better... these progesterone pills have me packing on pounds. ugh. OH well, it will be more than worth it to have a successful pregnancy!

I've never felt so misunderstood.... I feel like no one understands... and like I'm being pushed away and passed on to something or some one else to deal with. I never thought I would be treated as if I am bitter or angry. YOU don't get it YOU will never understand and I feel like my explanation was a laugh to YOU.

a little emotional

Sheesh! I'm just a ball of tears waiting to explode today! I am doing a fairly good job keeping them in since I don't want a ton of questions from little ones. I am not sad either... just could cry over everything. I watched the finale of ANTM and about cried a million times... I'm going crazy I think lol!

On a different note, I started my progesterone today. I am honestly looking forward to it because I sleep so well when I take it! So, here's so an amazing 2 weeks of GREAT sleep!

better day

Today has been a better day... I enjoy days like today. Days where my spirits are up, my faith in God is high and I feel good with how things are going. There are so many times that I can forget how good I have life, and dwell on the little things that aren't perfect. I am truly blessed with an amazing husband, super great son, the best friends and awesome family... more than any girl could ask for!

Here's a little something a good friend of mine said on her blog that is standing out to me... (Yes, I'm reading past posts ;] )

"I will not doubt. God is bigger than me, He's bigger than infertility. I'm giving my worry and doubt to him. Especially for the next two weeks, while i wait anxiously."

I'm praying for this lovely woman and her journey with infertility... God is good and I know he will bless her!

2 years

2 years ago we decided to try for #2

when will I stop crying?
when will it stop hurting?
when will I be at peace?
how many more times can I fail?
when will it be my turn?