ugh

I forgot to call my Dr to get my refill of progesterone. So the pharmacy I use, faxed the office and the office denied my refill. They want me to come in. I'm a little frustrated. I will lose a day of pay because I can't take 3 kids to the Dr with me, and I didn't want to make an appointment with her until I had 6 failed months under my belt. The only thing good is that she might be able to give me a pregnancy test (early) and maybe we've been successful? Please be praying that everything checks out OK and that I won't have to be on any more meds or be referred to a specialist.


Oh, and I also have a chiropractor appointment tomorrow evening because I took a really hard fall Friday at the Costco gas station. I slipped on ice and fell super hard on my left hip. It's been giving me a little pain since Saturday night. I did run another 5k Saturday morning, injured hip and all... and I got 3rd in my age range!!!

I had a dream

A dream that I was pregnant... and I was very happy because it was the longest I had been pregnant in a long time. I was 7 weeks if I remember correctly (my dreams don't always make much sense) and that is all I remember of the dream. You see, the progesterone pills give me the "weird pregnancy dreams" that you get while pregnant, while I'm not. I hate the weird dreams, especially when I wake up happy, to realize I'm not 7 weeks pregnant ;]

why?

Over the last 2+ years, I would often wonder why I went through what I've gone through. I know God had a reason, and a plan. I don't know the whole plan just yet, but I do know that he knew that I'd be able to comfort women who've gone through the same. I am able to sympathize with them and understand their feelings like no one else can. I often wished for someone to talk to who knew what I was going through. And not only someone who has been through miscarriages, but someone who has dealt with TTC and the difficulties of it. I'm thankful for the people who've I've been able to become close to after all of this.

2ww

And so we meet again... the most hated 2 week wait. I am trying to stay positive about this cycle, but I can't. I don't feel like we did enough. I did use the OPK's and hopefully we timed everything just right, but you never know. And I can't help but feel like we could have done more. I am trying to keep telling myself "it only takes one time". I'm praying that the Lord keeps me busy during this time and keeps my mind off of it (this would be a miracle!) I start progesterone on Friday and of course I'm not looking forward to that.

cd15

I finally broke down and bought an OPK. I am hoping this will be the key to finally getting pregnant. I really don't want to have to go back to the DR and say "hey, it's been 6 months of TTC and nothing..." I don't want to have to take more pills (even though I know women who do much more than me to TTC). I won't even test until March 8th, when my cycle is due. I don't want to stress out with testing before then.

PS. I just realized this entry is full of things I don't want lol

i was doing ok

i was doing ok until i found out 3 more girls are pregnant. its so hard because i am seeing everyone around me get exactly what i want yet again. it hurts... im sad tonight.

ps. sorry for the poor punctuation and no caps... im on my phone and it wont let me use either

Looking toward the future

Today I checked the "My Days" application on my phone. It shows me when I'm projected to be most fertile, tells me when I should start my period, and allows me to chart my BBT. I will be fertile again the 17th-22nd. This kinda got me a bit nostalgic... Owen was conceived on February 21st 2006. How cool would it be to have another baby conceived around the same time 5 years later, with a due date just a few days different?? Of course, it's all in God's hands... and he knows when and what will happen. I just think it'd be super cool for Owen to have a new baby as his 5th birthday present (by the way, he's been asking when he's going to be 5 ever since he turned 4 haha!)

CD1

Cycle day 1... my BBT was quite low the last two days and I had a little cramping, so it was no surprise to me when my cycle started. So, here we go again. I think that this will be my last cycle that we try, and if we're not successful, I'm going to make an appointment with my DR to see what's going wrong, or what we're doing wrong...

what's up with my bbt??

I chart my bbt every day.... without fail. I wake up and that thermometer goes right into my mouth. Usually after I ovulate my temp stays up at about 98.3 every day until right before my period starts then it dips down to about 97.4. I am on day 24 of my cycle. On day 22 my temp dipped down to 97.9 (which is below the coverline) and then spiked back up to 98.4 and today it was 98.5. Not quite sure why it's being so erratic, but it's driving me nuts!

yes! yes! yes!

In the midst of this progesterone madness I've lost 3.6 pounds! I'm trying so hard to stay away from the things that trigger me to eat more than I should and tracking my food intake like crazy! It's paying off finally and I feel good. Even though I'm still over the weight I would like to be, it's better than it was last week!

like old times

Today was a day like old times... I didn't have the kids today so Owen and I slept in. We ate breakfast and headed to the gym. After the gym we did some much needed grocery shopping and took our sweet time. It was really nice to not be on a set schedule and worrying how much time I had before I had to pick up a kid from school. I miss these days... just me and Owen. I got a killer work out in (which sucks cause this stupid progesterone will make it so I don't even see the effects of the workouts ugh!) and I relaxed while Owen took a nap. 3 years ago, we lived in a teeny apartment in Bonney Lake, I consider this our first place. We were blessed greatly with a free place to live until Owen was 7 months old, but with us being "grown ups" and finding this place and paying for it all on our own, it really felt like our first home. Anyways, we did fine financially and I didn't have to watch kids to make due. Owen and I went to the gym 4 days a week and my house was always clean! I miss it... sometimes I wish we would've stayed in that little place so I could still be at home with just my little man...