Today I went to the Just Between Friends sale at the fairgrounds. It's a huge consignment sale for baby and kid stuff. I went of course to pick up some super cheap clothes for Owen. I ended up grabbing a bouncy seat and a tummy time play mat for that future baby we hope to have. After miscarriage #3 I sold everything besides my crib and changing table. I couldn't look at it anymore and it was an act of healing I needed to do. So, now I'm gonna have to get new stuff which hopefully will be fun while I'm pregnant.
It was hard to see all of the mom's with teeny babies or that were pregnant. Obviously I was envious... I was in front of a mom in line who had 2 very unruly kids. They were going all over the place and she just didn't make them sit in her very expensive double stroller. They kept fighting and the older child bit the younger child SUPER hard! I mean I even saw his head kinda shake cause he was biting so hard... she did nothing!!!!! I wanted to yell right then and there. And to top it all off, she's pregnant with a 3rd! Doesn't always work out like that? The ones who don't parent get all the kids.... ugh!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
When I was thinking of a title for this post, I just couldn't... how do you sum up my feelings today? Well, I'm tired and just want to lay in bed. I'm sure it's a little bit of depression pushing me in that direction. I am envious of the girls I know who are pregnant. I want so badly to have more kids (as I've expressed a million times!)... I know my time will come, it is just hard to sit back and watch the days and years go by. Next month it will be 2 years since I decided to stop taking birth control and have another baby. I was sure it'd be easy because Owen was such a shock... guess I was wrong. Maybe this cycle I will get pregnant, maybe I will the following or the next etc. Who knows? I think that's the hardest part is just not knowing when it will take place. I know I have to have faith and know that God is taking care of this situation for us. I just can't help but be sad...
I have a group of friends who I met right after I had Owen. We had a mom and baby group at the hospital and we became great friends. Over the last year and a half to 2 years, each girl has had a second child and I'm sure some may even be thinking of a 3rd. We're supposed to get together on Tuesday and I miss them so much! As much as I want to see them, I feel like I don't have much in common with them anymore. I'm the one with one child... the one who has misscarried 4 times, I'm the one who no one understands. It's rough... I am fighting back tears as I write this (simply because there are kids around me) Lord please comfort me during this time and give me your peace that passes all understanding!
I have a group of friends who I met right after I had Owen. We had a mom and baby group at the hospital and we became great friends. Over the last year and a half to 2 years, each girl has had a second child and I'm sure some may even be thinking of a 3rd. We're supposed to get together on Tuesday and I miss them so much! As much as I want to see them, I feel like I don't have much in common with them anymore. I'm the one with one child... the one who has misscarried 4 times, I'm the one who no one understands. It's rough... I am fighting back tears as I write this (simply because there are kids around me) Lord please comfort me during this time and give me your peace that passes all understanding!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Not this time...
I started my cycle today... ironically just after I finished putting the crib together in the spare room (for the little girl I watch). I am surprised at how not emotional I am. Thank GOD!!! I have finally just given him the control and am not stressing over the fact that I'm not pregnant this month. I'm ok with it... it's HIS timing and not mine. I don't have to take the progesterone until I ovulate again which will be nice to not have the headaches for 2 weeks... I'm praying that God keeps my spirits up and helps me to remember that I will have a baby when he wants us to have one.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
One week
I've completed one whole week of taking Progesterone. I've been feeling pretty good considering, but I have had some serious sensitive teeth! Even breathing at times makes them ache... and yesterday I had a headache for 6 hours straight that wouldn't go away with tylenol (I'm trying to be careful with meds in case I'm pregnant) and it finally went away about 10:30 and I got to sleep. I am thankful I don't have the nausea or dizzyness a lot of women compain of. Anyways, about another week til we I can test.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Progesterone
So, today I started taking progesterone. I was told by my doctor to start taking progesterone 48 hours after I ovulated. By my BBT I ovulated on Monday, so today is the day. I am supposed to take it twice per day until I either start another cycle or reach 13 weeks in a pregnancy. It's a little scary... we're starting this whole process to not have a miscarriage and I'm praying so hard that it works. I have faith that we will have another baby, I know it will happen... All in a matter of time. I would LOVE for it to not take too long, but I do understand that it's all in God's timing. Here's to progesterone! ;]
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