Thinking

I've been doing a lot of thinking these days. I know that I was and will forever be someone who dealt with many losses along with trying for so long to get pregnant. It's not something that won't affect me. I still think about how loved each baby was and is and how badly it hurt to lose them. I often think of my friends who are still trying to conceive or wanting a baby. I feel blessed to be finally pregnant, but this little boy will never replace the ones lost.

I got to browsing on facebook yesterday, and came across 2 girls' profiles. Both have little boys and both are pregnant with baby #2. Both will be about 2-3 years apart. I still feel a bit of envy... I really wanted my kids to be closer in age. I know that this 5 year gap was God's plan, but it doesn't mean that I think about how much of an age difference it really is. I started really thinking about the big birthdays and where each boy will be at the time... When Owen turns 16, Ryken will be 11. Those are way different times in their lives... Owen will be in high school, learning to drive and dating girls. Ryken will be in 6th grade, riding his bike and maybe still hating girls. Now, when Ryken turns 16, Owen will be turning 21. Talk about 2 HUGE birthdays in one year... I'm still trying to see the great parts of this age difference (for goodness sakes, God made it this way for a reason) I will only have to get one child ready in the mornings. Owen is self sufficient. He gets himself dressed, brushes his own teeth, washes himself in the tub, wipes his own bum! Plus I know he'll be a big help.

Anyways... this is a super long rant. I just wanted to get it out there that even though a lot of my posts are in excitement, I still think about what was lost. And I'm constantly thinking of those who've lost or are still trying.

37 weeks

We're full term! I'm praying though that he stays in... like I've stated before ;] I'm feeling more pain in my pelvis and hips, which is to be expected. Sleeping is harder, because now my hips hurt if I sleep on one side too long. I'm not complaining though cause I know it will all end soon enough and instead of waking up to pain, I'll be waking up to a sweet little boy! I also have taken to Derek's long sleeved shirts. I'm not hot this pregnancy like I was with Owen, so I need long sleeves, but no shirts of mine and barely any sweatshirts fit around my belly. So, now I just grab one of the few shirts Derek has and wear them... usually just around the house ;]

Derek left for Hawaii on Sunday and should be back on the 8th or 9th of November. He's hoping to be home for Owen's birthday on the 6th, but we'll see.

At my appointment today, Ryken sounded good and measured perfectly. I did have some spotting Saturday (very minimal) and was anxious for the exam to see if anything happened. Still no progress which makes me happy :] Even though I can't wait to meet this little man, I can wait til his daddy gets home!

36 weeks

4 weeks left!!!! I can't believe we've gotten this far. I can remember just dreaming we'd get this far. At this point I know he can come at any time and would be a healthy boy. Although, I want him to wait for our c-section date because Derek will for sure be home. He leaves for Hawaii on Sunday and won't be back until around the time of the scheduled c-section.

With Derek being gone in Hawaii for what they say could be 8-10 months (we will see... it was supposed to be over 6 months last year and he was there for about 4), the boys and I will be visiting him about once a month. I know, rough times going to Hawaii once a month! I am hoping that with Owen being 5 and Ryken being pretty young, we will survive the 6 hour flight. I came across a little dilemma when it came to bring a stroller to Hawaii. I had purchased a Graco Snap n Go stroller and a Baby Trend jogging stroller secondhand. Which one to bring?? I kept toying with the idea of taking the jogging stroller, but the car seat doesn't attach and Ryken wouldn't be old enough to ride in it. It would be a huge help in the airport to lug carry on's in though. So I decided to research something that could work as both. I ended up selling both strollers on Craigslist not even 24 hours after I posted them. And yesterday I ordered this....

I'm really excited about it. The seat reverses so baby can face me, and it also lays flat which is PERFECT for a new baby. It comes with an infant car seat attachment so I can use it with the car seat... even better! I've read a ton of reviews and the only negative is that it is heavy... I've dealt with some heavy strollers before and I know this thing will be fine.

At my Dr's appointment today he's measuring right on still and his heartbeat sounds strong! I love hearing it!!! No progress, which is good since we will be bidding farewell to Derek this week... I must keep this boy in until he comes back home!

Baby Shower

Last Friday night, my amazing friends Stepheni and Stephanie threw me a shower that was to die for! I feel so fortunate that I have great girl friends who wanted to do this for me. Also, the turnout was awesome, making me feel even more blessed. I know for sure that I won't have to buy diapers, wipes or clothes until Ryken is 3 months old! I was overwhelmed by the amount of support I have and the love that surrounds my little family.

Here are a few shots of my awesome "Woodsy" themed baby shower. Photos by Mason Jar Photography.

Maternity Photos

Derek was home for a few days and my dear friend Stepheni of Mason Jar Photography snapped a bunch of family/maternity photos for us. I am in love with them! We had a very uncooperative 4 year old, but I had faith that Stepheni would get some great shots even with his crankiness ;]

trying to keep Owen occupied by making funny faces with Dad's face!

I love this! So my boys!

I can't wait to see the rest of them! And of course print them out to display all over my house!

34 weeks:: Nursery officially done!

Even though about 90% of Ryken's room has been done, I wanted to wait til I got the last few finishing touches finished to post photos. Now, I know it's not all that much... many people go all out for a nursery, but I tried to keep it fairly low key. I used Owen's old bedding that my sister Renee purchased before he was born. It has lots of different colors, but I thought that accenting the red would work out well.

This is a look from his door. The dresser/changing table was purchased on craigslist, repainted and given new drawer pulls. I really like it. The swing was given to me by my dear friend Stepheni (used by both her precious boys!) and if you look closely, there is a black backpack I will use as a diaper bag. And yes, the backpack is already packed full of stuff for the hospital!

The crib was bought by my mom before I had miscarriage #2 back in June 2009. I love it and I'm so thankful that she was willing to give us such a great gift! She also purchased a changing table that I have downstairs for those times I don't want to trek upstairs (yes, I can be lazy ;])

I bought the "R" at Joanne Fabrics. It took me forever to find one that wasn't broken! I spray painted it and hung it up.

My mom also bought this Poang rocking chair and ottoman from Ikea for us. I had one years ago and loved it. Come to think of it, I have no idea where it went! I'm so thankful for it. My sweet lil niece Eme was our "test baby" and she loved it, drifted off to sleep quite well in it! (the baby quilt is hiding one of those awkward square windows that lets all the morning light in! Not my ideal, but hey it works!)

So, there you have it! I tried my hardest to keep the cost down and to not over do his room. And since we can't paint the walls (we rent!) I hope it turned out well.

Only 5 things in the entire room were purchased brand new (crib, rocking chair, laundry hamper, lamp and changing pad/cover). The rest was second hand. There are many things not seen that were bought second hand also (bumbo, bath, snap n go stroller, breast pump and many clothes!). I think he'll like it! Yes, I know he really won't care haha!