When I was thinking of a title for this post, I just couldn't... how do you sum up my feelings today? Well, I'm tired and just want to lay in bed. I'm sure it's a little bit of depression pushing me in that direction. I am envious of the girls I know who are pregnant. I want so badly to have more kids (as I've expressed a million times!)... I know my time will come, it is just hard to sit back and watch the days and years go by. Next month it will be 2 years since I decided to stop taking birth control and have another baby. I was sure it'd be easy because Owen was such a shock... guess I was wrong. Maybe this cycle I will get pregnant, maybe I will the following or the next etc. Who knows? I think that's the hardest part is just not knowing when it will take place. I know I have to have faith and know that God is taking care of this situation for us. I just can't help but be sad...

I have a group of friends who I met right after I had Owen. We had a mom and baby group at the hospital and we became great friends. Over the last year and a half to 2 years, each girl has had a second child and I'm sure some may even be thinking of a 3rd. We're supposed to get together on Tuesday and I miss them so much! As much as I want to see them, I feel like I don't have much in common with them anymore. I'm the one with one child... the one who has misscarried 4 times, I'm the one who no one understands. It's rough... I am fighting back tears as I write this (simply because there are kids around me) Lord please comfort me during this time and give me your peace that passes all understanding!