About Me

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I met my husband about 6 years ago and we got pregnant about a year into our relationship. He is 4 now and such an amazing kid! We have been struggling to have a successful pregnancy for 2 years now, with 4 miscarriages all in the first tri-mester

What does it all mean??

TTC= trying to conceive

BBT= basal body temperature

HPT= home pregnancy test

OPK= ovulation predictor kit

BFP= big fat positive (what we want!)

BFN= big fat negative (what we loathe...)




What's been going on?

Dec 2004: Met Derek at a friends birthday dinner (and didn't like him lol!)

Feb 2006: Conceived Owen by surprise

Sept 22, 2006: Derek and I got married

Nov 6, 2006: Owen was born!

Nov 2008: Decide to TTC for #2

Jan 2009: Longest cycle ever, take HPT and got a BFP. Go to dr and find out we're mid miscarriage

May 2009: BFP!

June 2009: Go to DR for first OB appointment to find no heartbeat, off to hospital for D&C. Told to wait 3 months before TTC again

Dec 2009: BFP and one week later start bleeding, miscarriage #3

Jan 2010: Go in to see DR, check blood and all organs working well, and ovulating well.

April 2010: Another BFP. About a week later start bleeding again, miscarriage #4.

May 2010: Talk to my DR, has me wait 6 months before TTC again.

Sept 2010: Go to follow up with DR, has me start taking prenatal vitamins, baby asprin and progesterone 48 hours after ovulation (to take until my cycle starts, or reach 13 weeks in a pregnancy)

March 7th 2011: BFP!!!!! (over the next few days I ended up taking 4 tests to be for sure positive)

April 4th 2011: First OB appointment... saw lil baby on ultrasound and STRONG heartbeat of 175 bpm.

June 27th 2011: Second ultrasound, we're having a lil boy!

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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

day 23

I have had one rough week... I wanted to not think about the possibility of being pregnant and boy have I been reminded that I'm not (that I know of). People who I thought would be there for me during everything... ups and downs just are sweeping me under the rug. I mean, I don't need to be doted on, but a little understanding would be nice. I've put myself and my struggles aside for so many friends and family who are pregnant or were pregnant over the last 2 years... attending baby showers, going to see babies when they're born, and even throwing showers/sprinkles. To be told I'm bitter and angry makes me just want to walk away. I don't expect people to fully understand or take pity on me... just a listening ear would be great.

On a more positive note, I am hoping to test on Monday... I am exhausted today, I'm not sure if it's from all the crying I did yesterday or something else?? ;] I'm also trying to get my rear to the gym more often and eat better... these progesterone pills have me packing on pounds. ugh. OH well, it will be more than worth it to have a successful pregnancy!
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4 comments:

  1. StephanieDecember 7, 2010 at 12:08 PM

    I feel ya. And I too, HATE progesterone. It's the worst. We're talkin layin down on the bed to zip my pants ;)

    Anyways, I'm praying for you, you are not forgotten, just focus on the great friends you do have and are there for you, I'd had to do that as well.

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  2. MichelleDecember 7, 2010 at 1:15 PM

    thank you Steph... it's great to have a friend like you who gets it :]

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  3. StepheniDecember 7, 2010 at 10:28 PM

    I need to remind you what you endurred. Your best friend had a successful pregnancy and delivered her baby on April 24th. You were There for her. You were THERE.
    This makes me mad. So what if you are bitter and angry. You have the right to be. But you chose to be there. You did not run. You snuggled up that sweet little boy and Loved him. No bitterness. No anger. Just Love. (and if you were bitter and angry I did not notice)

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  4. MichelleDecember 8, 2010 at 6:43 PM

    Thank you Steph... it's just really hard having people think I'm being selfish, when I'm just hurting. Hopefully they won't ever understand what kind of hurt I've been through...

    I've got a lot going on in 2011 and I'm excited for all of it... baby or no baby, there's a lot to be thankful for!

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